"Used To Be"

   I used to be very smart getting straight A’s in school. I was a National Merit Scholar, had a full academic scholarship to college, with a perfect score in the English section of the SAT’s and got only three questions wrong in the Math portion. However, the voices have ruined it all for me. They have sucked the intelligence from my brain and taken away my ability to remember things. My husband and my daughter constantly make fun of my stupidity now and of the fact that I cannot remember anything. I also had ECT (shock treatment) and this too, robbed me of intelligence and memory.
   I have had over thirty hospitalizations in my life, despite the fact that I had fifteen years of being symptom free prior to three years ago. Three years ago, my life imploded again and I have been in the hospital frequently once more. During my period of being well, I worked as a fine artist, showing my work at galleries and selling much of it. I was also a unit secretary in two different hospitals. A reason for my lay off was an on duty nurse who set up a scenario against me. The hospital asked me to resign due to my health and I knew that if I did not cooperate, it was only a matter of time until they found enough “evidence” to fire me.