"Used To Be"

   I used to be very smart getting straight A’s in school. I was a National Merit Scholar, had a full academic scholarship to college, with a perfect score in the English section of the SAT’s and got only three questions wrong in the Math portion. However, the voices have ruined it all for me. They have sucked the intelligence from my brain and taken away my ability to remember things. My husband and my daughter constantly make fun of my stupidity now and of the fact that I cannot remember anything. I also had ECT (shock treatment) and this too, robbed me of intelligence and memory.
   I have had over thirty hospitalizations in my life, despite the fact that I had fifteen years of being symptom free prior to three years ago. Three years ago, my life imploded again and I have been in the hospital frequently once more. During my period of being well, I worked as a fine artist, showing my work at galleries and selling much of it. I was also a unit secretary in two different hospitals. A reason for my lay off was an on duty nurse who set up a scenario against me. The hospital asked me to resign due to my health and I knew that if I did not cooperate, it was only a matter of time until they found enough “evidence” to fire me.

"Lucifer"

    Right now, I know there safe. I do not know why the devil wants me to see them get hit or to watch them molested. There are places in the world where there are demons who love to see the children verbally abused, beaten, molested and battered. I ask myself, “Why do people who are like me have to witness such horrors.” “Horrors right here in font of me.” I can see the demons. I can see their faces. I have seen Lucifer. He is so powerful looking. He stands taller than buildings and is big. He wears a tailor made suit along with a black cape and a cane. His face is gray with the look of a man. I have looked directly into his eyes when he is looking at me but he cannot touch me. He talks to me always trying to trick me with his mind games but I manage to persuade myself to ignore him.

     I hear and see another man who is very old and seems to be intelligent and understanding. I become very apprehensive when he appears because, for some reason, I feel him and Lucifer have a plan to plot against me. I think he might want to hurt me although he never has and understands me completely. He has a European accent and tells me he is from London, England. He seems to know Lucifer because he is always talking to him. It appears that when I see the two of them talking to one another they are friends. He makes it a point that he knows who Lucifer is. I call him friend.
This experience is a continuance from the very first post on this blog titled "The Children and the Demons"

My Boyfriend

    My boyfriend and my first lover put down his drink on the bar and would not look at me; a very serious expression on his face. I had just confessed to him that I hear voices. This was the first time I had told him that and with his next breath he told me, “I’d always suspected it, but was not sure until now.
     This was to mark the beginning of a cooling in his feelings for me…visits became more rare and although we were to continue seeing each other for at least another year after that, there was a definite change in our relationship. As if he knew there would come a day when I would be enraged, terrified, and out of control. That day did come and that was the day he dropped me off like a UPS package to a psych hospital, leaving me there…and leaving our relationship emotionally. Even though we saw each other a few times afterward, it was as though he had returned to the role that he had held when we first met: mental health professional.
      He had been a mental health worker in a psych hospital where I had stayed for 14 months over twenty years ago, and one day (the day before my release), he told me of his feelings for me, assuming that they were mutual. The truth was that I had never even considered such a thing, consumed by my illness. However, I did not tell him this and went along with the initiation of a relationship following my discharge from the hospital.
A readers submission.

"Old Man"

I guess he had to be about 60 to 65 years old when I saw him. I was walking back from the cemetery visiting my daughter’s grave, which is about 5 miles out of town. That is when he approached me. I did not get his name but he was wearing a white robe and had the look of a wizard. He said that he had to be buried in his house but that no one would listen to him. I asked him where he lived and he then replied, "The doors where I live are marked". When I arrived back into town I immediately began searching for the doors that he said were marked. I walked and walked all over the older parts of town looking for these marked doors. Across the street from the old high school, stands a house that is very old and made out of stones. The house lured me to it and when I got there, the doors in the front entry way are both marked. The door to the east is marked with a figure that appears to be a king. The other door has a marking of what appears to be a queen. As soon as I walked up to it a small levitated spirit went through the door that was marked with a King. That was the last I saw of this man, ghost, spirit or whatever else you want to call it. A few months later I come to find out the place with the marked, doors used to be a mortuary.

An individual who wishes to stay anonymous told this experience to me.

Pictures of the actual house and the marks on the doors.

"The Children and the Demons"

I love them so much and they all love me. They are all so little and happy and I have to protect them. When the demons get here the children start to scream and try to hide but there are to many of them so I try to chase them away. When the demons get the children thay molest them and beat them. I hate them so much (The demons) but sometimes they get the children. I can't stand them demons so I chase them away until the children are safe again. I love them so much I hope I will be able to keep on saving them.
A client  told this experience to me.